Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Max Unmasked


Bloggers ("Blahgers"--Mark Sarvas, TEV) Panel, BEA June 2, 20
05. From L-R: Moderator Mark Dressler; Michael Cader; M.J. Rose; Max the Unmasked; and Robert Gray

As our time together reaches its end, I feel a great sense of relief that I can finally reveal my true identity. It's funny: in the comments to the Mighty Mouse/Fuller Brush post (wherein I dispelled the rumor that I might, in fact, be Karl Rove), an astute reader called me "poncey"--from which he then (rightly) extrapolated that I must be "a Brit." In the months since, I was apparently successful in disguising my poncey-ness--but that early reader had been right all along.

I must say I'm disappointed, a bit, that nobody "got" the hint made so explicitly with my BEA get-up! My costume was variously identified as representing Gandalf; Merlin; and Professor Dumbledore on crack--yet the truth was right there under your noses! That's the trouble with you kids these days--you've lost touch with your roots! I see you on the subway ("and walking all over/Manhattan") as you rock out to Britney singing her version of SATISFACTION ("a man comes on to tell me/how tight my skirt can be") without a clue about where that song came from in the first place!

But here's one more chance, dear people! Instead of telling you my identity, I'll give you one last try at figuring it out for yourselves.

Step One: Look at the picture (above) taken at BEA--notice the fellow in the pointy hat?

Step Two: Now look at this album cover. Notice, again, the fellow in the pointy hat...

16 comments:

Michael Allen said...

Lessee now. Looks like an early Stones record to me, reissued. So that's the drummer chappie on the left, Brian Jones (deceased) second from right, so the one in the pointy hat must be... Gee, Mick, I didn't realise you were into books.

Cantara Christopher said...

You pig. You've got me staring at my ratty old 3D cover of Their Satanic Majesties Request and you're starting to freak me out, man...

Anonymous said...

Obviously you're Dan Franklin.

Cantara Christopher said...

Wait a second. The Horse Whisperer? That would explain certain supernatural events surrounding MM...

Ron said...

Well, now, I guess we should commend your admirable restraint in not titling this post "Please allow me to introduce myself..."

chantal said...

Mad Max Perkins is an editor for Scholastic Books. He will reveal himself on July 16 to help maximise attention on the release of the New Harry Potter book.

Chantal le Feu.

"I Was Hitler's Wet Nurse"

http://iwashitlerswetnurse.blogspoot.com

Lauren Baratz-Logsted said...

Oh, no, it's not possible. Can it be? Are you, by any chance...Satan?

Ray Rhamey, Flogging the Quill said...

Wait a minute. Are you leaving blogdom? Really? I saw the "end is near" post, but it was so cryptic that I couldn't tell if it was you pulling our chains or sincere. If you are quits I, for one, will miss having you to visit. I'll miss your insights, passion, and writing. So, if this is for real, will there be a post of reasons why?

Best,

Ray

Cornelia Read said...

Anonymous got it half right... Max is BEN Franklin.

deadly dexter said...

you might get "sadly missed" on your tombstone max, but by revealing yourself like some old flasher in the park you'll actually become what you really are, an anonymous cog in the satanic mills of book production whose mid-life idealism crisis petered out into embarassing showmanship and the kind of ambiguity that makes me for one really fear for the future of publishing if this is all that an insiders effort to change things leads to. your industry stamps on whistle blowers and innovators so this anonimity culture has been a poisonous one for any frank discussion. only the writers have come out clean. and now,at the end, you rely on hired wizardry and sleight-of-hand, like it was all a staged act to infiltrate your opposition. or maybe you're just the bloke who comes to do the magic tricks at the bloggers annual tea-party. you're quitting a sinking ship if you abandon this blog. shut the fuck up about who you are and keep fighting your corner like the real max perkins would've done. otherwise you'll just mirror your own executive career and let eventual world domination by one publisher takes it's course. stay and help the writers, put a beret on instead, join the resistance to establish three things: split the multi-nationals back into indies, put a low ceiling on advances and get rid of the agent system. if you're not up to it then get off my screen for good and stop over-writing your final bow.

zornhau said...

Um... Max. Do wtf you want. A slong as you keep saying interesting things about publishing, I'll keep reading you.

However, stop being so cryptic!

Jimmy said...

Hmmm...Mick Taylor? Bill Wyman? Pete Best?

Anonymous said...

is this the same jimmy that proposed marriage not so long ago? guess you should settle on a bride/groom, no?

Anonymous said...

oh, D

why don't you tell us what you really think?

Tony Pewter said...

Couldn't be he hasn't ordered the apocalypse of silence

genevieve said...

But of course, he's a man of wealth and taste...

A VOCATION OF UNHAPPINESS [Courtesy Georges Simenon (1903-1985)]

"Writing is considered a profession, and I don't think it is a profession. I think that everyone who does not need to be a writer, who thinks he can do something else, ought to do something else. Writing is not a profession but a vocation of unhappiness. I don't think an artist can ever be happy."


PRACTICAL MARKETING [Courtesy Zornhau, 2005]

"They should put the 1st couple of pages up in subway adverts. Having read them several times, you'd feel compelled to try the book - if it was any good."


PLATE OF SHRIMP [Courtesy Alex Cox’s REPO MAN, circa 1984]

"A lot of people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch of unconnected incidences and things. They don't realize that there's this like lattice of coincidence that lays on top of everything. I'll give you an example, show you what I mean. Suppose you're thinking about a plate of shrimp. Suddenly somebody will say like "plate" or "shrimp" or "plate of shrimp" out of the blue, no explanation. No point in looking for one either. It's all part of a cosmic unconsciousness."